My
experiences have inspired me to write this. After my first marriage end 12
years ago, the first thing family and friends said to me was "don't
worry there's plenty more fish in the sea" and "I'm sure you'll meet
someone else soon". I know they were only trying to help but at the time
it really annoyed me, because the very thought of entering into another
relationship was the furthest thing from my mind. All I wanted to do
was concentrate on bringing up my children to the best of my ability, as
a single mother and in order to do that I had to look after my own
health and well being. I find myself going through the same kind of
stigma following the breakdown of my relationship which ended one after
another. Well meaning friends trying to arrange dates for me and giving
me tips on how to meet men. They become deaf to my words when I demand
that I'm happy being single and not looking for a relationship with
anyone, even if he is rich and good looking with a six pack.After 12
years of being single mom, friends now assume that I'm unhappy and
miserable because I'm without a man. How wrong could they be! Distant
friends utter words of "have you found anyone yet?" "oh dear, are you
still single?" "I'm sure you will meet someone soon, you are a lovely
person". They make me want to scream in rage I'M HAPPY BEING SINGLE, I'M
NOT LOOKING FOR A MAN .....I DON'T NEED ONE!!!!
because since I'm being single I discover 10 reasons why I'm happy to be single.........
1) I have the freedom to do whatever I want, to go wherever I want and to see anyone I want.
2) I can concentrate on my career and give 100% without having to consider my partner
3) I have the time that would have been spent with my partner to enjoy all my hobbies without any interruptions.
4) I can choose what I want to watch on television or at the cinema,
and not have to give in to all the rubbish that my partner would want to
watch. (hahaha)
5) I can spend more time with my family and friends and go out and make new ones.
6) I have more time to indulge myself, to learn, to read, to grow, to become the person I want to be.
7) I can choose to furnish my home in whichever way I choose, I can be
completely selfish. if I want pink fluffy cushions all over the house
then so be it (I have sequin ones actually)
8) I can choose to
spend my days, evenings, weekends, holidays in whatever way I want. If I
feel like staying in bed all day..I can! If I want to read in bed until
the early hours with the light on..I can!..and the list goes on..
9) I have my own identity, I love myself and I'm free!
10) I can go on holiday and be selfish on how I want to spend my time. I
can lay by the pool or on the beach all day, reading my book, listening
to music and flirt with the sexy waiter. (I think I've just sold that
holiday to myself)
Just because I'm happy being single in that time doesn't mean that I won't change my mind at some point in life.
Feelings, emotions and situations change, it's to be expected. I'm aware
of my own feelings and I know what I want.. But I also know how to adapt
to change and go with the flow. I don't need to be in a relationship to
make me happy or to feel complete. I think too many people enter into
relationships because they don't like being alone, and they feel the
need to be loved and accepted and to escape the stigma of singleism. I
personally enjoy my own company, I never feel lonely or bored. In fact I
would love to experience the feeling of boredom if only for an hour.
Boredom is an alien word in my life. Relationships should be mutually
enjoyed, you should be with someone because you "want" them not because
you "need" them. If you cannot be happy on your own, then how can you be
happy being with someone else. You have to love and accept yourself
first. Having a partner should be a bonus. I was in a
relationship with a man before and we had some
wonderful and bad times together, but when it
ended, I was able to accept it and move on without anger and hatred...I
have memories and photos of all the good things and times in my life and
is included in them..things happen but I have my own life now and move on. And for this
moment I'm happy with my beloved kids and my husband, who love me with unconditionally.At last I found my soulmate.
There is nothing in this world that a woman cannot achieve if she has
the ambition, determination and the gift to do it. The power of women is
so great that others seem to realize only when it gets exploded. Being a
woman has the capability of adjusting to all kinds of circumstances and
only brings out the best in her, in times of crisis. This, she can
achieve with ease, with a smile on her face. Being a woman is always
filled with joy, with happiness, with responsibility and with a certain
degree of mystery that is difficult to unveil by men. This world belongs
to woman and it has been made more beautiful by women. A true man does
not promise, he commits. A true woman does not demand, she thanks.I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that
you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them
when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no
one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things
can fall together...xxxx
